I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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