Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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