She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Shame is for Republicans.
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