two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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