I cannot find my penis.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
