i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
