Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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