I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
