it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am available for nakedness
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
