fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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