and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
3pm strippers are depressing
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
