So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
