We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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