just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
