What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
