I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
