how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
