I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
