its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
