make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
