I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I could fuck to npr.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
