You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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