party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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