Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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