Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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