i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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