I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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