How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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