i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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