And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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