i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
