Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
