I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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