Ambien. No doubt about it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
