No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
