Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
