Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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