god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You don't make any sense
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