Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
