True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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