What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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