I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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