am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
