woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
