You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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