i was born a porn star she said
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
