i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
