Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
