I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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