I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
