It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
