is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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