i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
